STRUGGLING WITH HUMILITY

You would probably imagine that a mouse, being pretty much the symbol of humility, would have few, if any, problems with being humble. Well, it’s not that easy. Even we mice have flesh (if only a scrap of it), and if not kept in order, it will still be our undoing. So the enemy has pointed out that I am seriously unqualified to present my religious ideas to anybody and, more than once, has said, “who do you think you are?”

Some of you more alert readers may have noticed an extended gap since the last post. This is due to many distractions keeping me from intimacy with God and concentrating on the blog including: moving house, exploring new territory, interior design, setting up all sorts of new arrangements with local services and businesses, much of which is in order to be ready for conversion work on the new flat… but, most importantly, battles with humility and the enemy.

I have thought about it a lot, while rereading Andrew Murray’s “Humility,” and also continuing to translate and add my notes to 2 Corinthians, which have led to a few conclusions, realisations and revelations. I have no intention of giving you a synopsis of Murray’s book as it’s quite short, completely brilliant, and you should already have your own copy… seriously. And keep it by you at all times!

Side note: 2 Corinthians is coming along nicely but there are plenty of quite difficult passages in it which take a lot of prayer and thought so it is not quick. I have been encouraged to put it online as I finish each chapter so I probably will, but I reserve the right to go back and edit it as necessary. Please bear with me—I’m getting there!

So, I’m quite convinced that what the Lord wants me to share on this blog site is

  • what He has shown me
  • what He has taught me, and
  • what He is saying…
  • and none of my own ramblings!

I’m still a little unsure about whether it should be entirely translation based, or whether I’m supposed to include some, possibly unrelated, teachings and revelations as well. Obviously, I have included such in the past as blog posts so, for the moment, I plan to continue to do so, but I remain open to the Lord’s promptings.

If there are errors—and I’m pretty sure there are—then clearly, they are due to my unnecessary input, and the blame is entirely my own. My mistake over the past few weeks was in allowing the enemy to help me to think of any of this as “mine” in some way. This opened me up to the possibility of unwanted pride and, at the same time, his accusations.

But if I’m doing what the Lord has asked me to do, expressing His thought online, then it is His alone, and I have no right to claim, even in my most private musings, that any understanding or revelation is my own. The point is, I died with Christ, so what possible contribution can my dead flesh make to what Jesus is doing? It is just like the body of Christ: how can anybody possibly contribute in the flesh to the kingdom of God which Jesus alone is building? (Yet how many “church leaders” are attempting to do just that?) And if nothing is mine to claim, then the enemy’s accusations become meaningless, and I have no business shutting up shop. He can go back where he came from! I have a job to do.

All this, of course, is complicated by the flesh which, though dead, unhelpfully hangs around to tempt us, trip us up, and drag us down. And there’s nothing it likes more than pride, however unjustified. Our flesh is really creepy and corrupt: it can actually take pride in its worship! It can sneak in to the temple of God Himself, and say, “look at me, how holy am I?” just like the Pharisee. When we come before God, like the publican, let us beware in case the Pharisee in us comes along as well.

All of which is to say, we have to stand guard against the softest whiff of pride in our thinking, and deal with it—repent of it—as it arises. Humility is the baseline and bedrock of any kind of relationship with the Father, as we can see by Jesus’ own life, and without it we’re lost.

We also need to be very strict with our feelings as they will allow the “I” to live at the expense of Jesus. If I feel, then it is I who live; if I believe, then it is Christ who lives. So, if I allow the enemy to make me feel unworthy, then it immediately slows, or even stops, the work of the Lord through me. But if I continue to hang in there in faith, believing that He has commissioned me and is still with me, then He can do His work through me, and my pride has nothing real to hold on to. This doesn’t, of course, mean that I can relax for a minute, however: the flesh doesn’t need anything real to build its pride on.

So the blog will continue, albeit at a more steady pace, now that I have to wait for the Lord to lead, and not run with my enthusiasm. It’s all good—it should improve the overall quality for you!

Keep a look out for the first chapters of 2 Corinthians as I will be putting something up shortly.

Bless you folks, Geoff  >ᴥ<

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